He brings cake

22 01 2009

1999bowmanbranyan

I’ve always wondered how Russell Branyan continues to get a position on a major league team.  I’ve had the same question since his 2003 season with the Reds, when he hit .216 with 9 HRs.

I guess I’ve been a little harsh on the guy.  Sure he’s a career .230 hitter that strikes out 2 out of every 5 times he steps to the plate.  But when he does make contact, you’ve got a 25% chance of seeing that ball leave the yard.  Last year, an impressive 12 of 33 hits were home runs for the Brewers.

For some reason, that still wasn’t enough.  Then I read the back of his 1999 Bowman card, which came in a package from reader Dave (help him out here).

1999bowmanbranyanback

Can you read that? Next to the Up Close near the bottom:

cooks

Ah. That explains it all. Mariner’s fans, enjoy your cake in 2009.

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3 responses

22 01 2009
Brian

chicks dig the longball…

23 01 2009
handcollated

I suppose that’s true.

On a side note, I would love to see a movement to make “he brings cake” a new term for a player who hits home runs.

23 01 2009
deal

I think Branyan was a Phil for about a week in 07. Most of the time he didn’t do a thing, but I think he ended up having one big time Pinch Homer against the Nats.

Just like you sed all or nothing

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