Toppstown is open for business, even if it isn’t June 1st…
I’m going in… Alright, birthday entered… Creating a name…Free code…
Hmm… I’ve got to create an avatar. And I can only choose from randomized words picked by Topps. I’m not sure I want to be Mrs. Easy Italian. Or Jo Angel Injector. How the hell do I just type in a name I want? Maybe this “about Toppstown” link will help…
ToppsTown™ is designed for all ages 6-up.
Really? You want 6 year olds to call themselves Mrs Easy Italian? Are kids not able to think up their own avatar name at the age of 6? Oh well.
I guess from now on, I’m Captain Goose something-or-other. Nice to see Topps will allow kids to call themselves “barf” and “poopoo” though. I’m surprised any of those are still available.
Ugh. Creating an avatar. Something I never cared for. I could give my guy two different sized arms, but I cannot stand asymmetry. Darn you, high school geometry.
Finally, I’m in my clubhouse. There’s a bookcase full of baseballs, a toilet, and a cardboard box for a desk with a phone on it. Oh, and cobwebs. I guess no one has to clean up in ToppsTown! Or everyone’s poor and can’t afford a maid.
Alright, on to the virtual cards. My freebie is Mark Teixeiria of the Braves. Not awful. Lets see who represents the Reds in this crazy place… Ken Griffey Jr. (makes sense), Adam Dunn (yeah) and… Ryan Freel?!? What about Jay Bruce, or Edison Volquez? Joey Votto? I hear the Reds have a pretty good 2B, too. And the Giants get five players to the Reds three? What the-?!? Wait. There’s Edison Volquez. Shows him as an Indian. Wtf, Toppstown? How long have you had to get this right before the launch?
Or is this a planned error to drum up interest? Sneaky Topps. I almost fell for it.
Off to the game zone. First up, the Daily Sports Jackpot. Kids can learn to gamble early in Toppstown. Maybe there’s Daily Cigarette Machine for them to play with as well. Hot Dog Canon is like Space Invaders, only with a hot dog canon. There’s a HR contest, a pitching contest, and a hitting contest, too. And one where you pop bubble gum on your face. Awesome.
The good thing is the games seem pretty simple for kids and should have them rolling in Topps points. The games do take a while to load and are a bit limited by the rules (ie, 10 balls to hit, and that’s the end, start over again). And the points are good only to add design to your avatar or clubhouse. I could care less, but maybe tech savvy kids will have to get earn 700 points for diver flippers or 2500 points for an arm holding a bag of peanuts.
Well, scanning the trade offers, no one wants big Tex right now. So I’ll wait a while before coming back. Like maybe when I get a code or two to enter and see who the big surprise is. Until then, it’s clear that Toppstown isn’t for the older collectors. It’s geared toward the kids who want to play games and click on ads to earn free virtual cards worth nothing.
In the end, I guess it’ll show kids that the cards are worth what they want to give up for them rather than the hobby regulated price. And kids can get their favorite players from someone who wants a card they have, which is what trading used to be about.
Until I see what kind of people move into to Toppstown, I’ll just rent a condo and sit on the porch for awhile.
*UPDATED* So I went to the library today and marvelled as three kids, maybe 10 years old, sat in the corner and argued about trading coats and goggles for some online avatar they created. While that’s a boost to the chances of this thing working (and it makes me wonder why kids think it’s cool), I also found myself asking why kids would leave the site they were on and go to Toppstown. But I also didn’t want to be creepy adult and talk to kids in the library, either, so I let it go…